If you’ve been striving to do everything perfectly, you’re probably all too familiar with the pressure, the exhaustion, and the fear of falling short. Perfectionism can feel like a safety net—if you’re perfect, maybe you can avoid judgment, rejection, or failure. But as Brené Brown says, perfectionism is not the key to success or happiness. It’s a heavy burden that keeps you from truly being yourself.
What Is Perfectionism Really About?
Perfectionism often gets confused with striving for excellence, but they’re not the same thing. Striving for excellence is about growth and self-improvement, while perfectionism is about fear—fear of not being good enough, fear of being judged, or fear of disappointing others.
Brené Brown describes perfectionism as a shield we use to protect ourselves. You might think, “If I look perfect, work perfect, and live perfect, I can avoid criticism or blame.” But the truth is, perfectionism doesn’t protect you. It isolates you. It keeps you from showing up as your real, messy, wonderful self.
The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism
When you’re constantly chasing perfection, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. Perfectionism can:
- Fuel self-criticism: You become your own harshest critic, never feeling like you’re enough.
- Stifle creativity and joy: Fear of failure can stop you from trying new things or enjoying the present moment.
- Hurt relationships: Perfectionism can keep you from being vulnerable with others, making it harder to build genuine connections.
- Drain your energy: Trying to meet impossible standards can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.
The paradox is that while perfectionism promises safety, it actually creates stress and disconnection.
The Gifts of Imperfection
When you release the need to be perfect, you:
- Build resilience: You realize you can handle mistakes and setbacks without losing your sense of self-worth.
- Experience more joy: You stop waiting for everything to be “just right” and start enjoying life as it is.
- Strengthen connections: Vulnerability allows you to connect with others in meaningful ways.
- Discover freedom: You feel lighter and more at peace when you stop trying to control how others see you.
How Therapy Can Help
If perfectionism has been running your life, therapy can be a powerful tool to help you make a change. Therapy can help you loosen the grip of perfectionism, connect with your authentic self, and rediscover the beauty of imperfection.
Let’s start this journey together—because you’re enough, exactly as you are. Contact us for a free 15-minute consultation today!
