If you’re thinking about starting therapy, you might have some questions about what it’s really like, and how it works.
Therapy usually begins when you’re feeling dissatisfied with some aspect of your life situation. You’ve probably tried a few strategies on your own—like reading self-help books, talking to friends, or making changes—but nothing seems to have worked. At this point, you may decide to seek therapy to gain clarity and relief from the discomfort you’re feeling. You’re looking for something deeper – understanding why you feel the way you do, finding relief from anxiety, or discovering how to make things better. You might have a goal in mind, something you want to change, or maybe a new direction to take.
Sharing Your Story
When you begin therapy, the first step is to describe the issue or situation that’s bothering you to the counsellor. You’ll talk about what’s going on, and where you feel stuck. Your therapist will listen carefully, and start to explore the situation from various perspectives. They’ll ask questions like:
- How are you currently viewing the situation?
- What are the thoughts and feelings that come up for you in this situation?
- What actions are you taking (or not taking) in response to this challenge?
- What have you already tried to address this problem?
- What would you like to be different in your life?
- How might this issue tie into your past or your family history?
Exploring the Bigger Picture
Your therapist is trained to look at many different factors that could be contributing to the issue. They will help you reflect on your past, your beliefs, your patterns and your experiences. They might ask questions like:
- How did your family of origin shape your current beliefs and behaviours?
- What’s the history of this issue—has it come up before in your life or family?
- Are there past traumas or wounds that might still be affecting how you see things today?
- What are your strengths or resilience factors that might help you manage or overcome this situation?
A holistic approach is crucial, because the way we see ourselves and the world is often shaped by a variety of factors—our upbringing, culture, personal experiences, and the beliefs we’ve developed over time. By exploring these layers, therapy can help you make sense of what’s happening now, and identify what might need to change.
Understanding What’s Helpful—and What’s Not
As you and your therapist work together, you’ll begin to identify the factors that are helping—or hindering—you in addressing the issue. These might include:
- Healthy habits and personal strengths that support your well-being
- Your support system, including friends, family, and community
- Unhelpful patterns or beliefs that may be holding you back, like negative self-talk, perfectionism, or avoidance
Your therapist will work with you to create a treatment plan that focuses on your unique needs and goals. This plan isn’t set in stone; it’s an evolving process where you and your therapist work together to find solutions that resonate with you.
Taking Action: The Work Between Sessions
Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about doing. Between sessions, you’ll be encouraged to “do the work.” This might involve trying out new behaviours, experimenting with different ways of thinking, or practising new strategies for managing your emotions. It’s a process of self-exploration and self-awareness, where you notice how the changes you’re making feel and begin to understand more about yourself.
This can be challenging at times, and change doesn’t happen overnight. But as you continue to try new things and reflect on your experiences, you’ll gradually build a greater sense of awareness and control over your life.
Progress: Healing, Growth, and Change
The goal of therapy is not only to help you cope with your current challenges, but also to help create lasting change. Over time, you might find that you feel more at peace with the situation, or you may develop new ways of thinking and acting that improve your life. You might come to terms with certain aspects of your life, or you may decide to make significant changes. Whatever it looks like for you, the process is about growth, healing, and empowerment.
Eventually you will feel that you’ve reached a point where you can handle things on your own, or you may prefer to keep working through certain issues until you feel truly complete.
In Summary
Therapy works by helping you understand yourself better, uncover the root causes of your challenges, and develop new ways of thinking and behaving. It’s a collaborative process between you and your therapist, where you work together to identify goals, understand the complexities of your situation, and create a plan for change. It’s not always easy, but it’s a path toward healing, growth, and a more fulfilling life.
If you’re ready to explore therapy, why not book a free 15-minute consultation at Integrate Counselling?