Confidence can be thought of as how we feel about ourselves when we are interacting in the world, whereas self-worth is how we feel on the inside, at our very core. Self-worth impacts every aspect of our lives – our relationships, our choices, and our overall well-being. If you’re looking to build your confidence and self-worth, here are some essential steps to guide you on this journey.
Step 1: Self-Awareness
The journey begins with self-awareness. This means tuning into your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Each of these can be a message from your subconscious about your inner world. Are you feeling tense? Do you notice negative self-talk? Acknowledge these messages without judgment; they are vital clues about your emotional state and can help you understand what you truly need.
Action Tip:
Take a few moments throughout your day to pause and check in with yourself. Ask, “How am I feeling right now?” This simple practice can illuminate patterns in your emotional responses.
Step 2: Self-Inquiry
Once you are aware of your thoughts and feelings, it’s time for self-inquiry. This involves exploring the meanings behind your emotions and sensations. Reflect on triggers: What situations evoke strong reactions? What patterns can you identify? Consider whether these responses stem from learned behaviors or beliefs from your upbringing.
Action Tip:
When you notice a strong emotional response, ask yourself: “What is this feeling trying to tell me? Where does it come from?” This inquiry can lead to deeper insights and understanding.
Step 3: Self-Knowledge
Self-knowledge is about grounding yourself in the reality of where you’re at right now and taking appropriate responsibility. Who are you? What are your values? Are you living in alignment with your values and what is true for you? How are you contributing to your life situation? What do you want to change and what do you want to accept? Are there habits you want to clean up?
Action Tip:
Create a list of your core values and assess how your daily actions reflect these values. This clarity can guide your decisions and strengthen your self-worth.
Step 4: Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion
This step emphasizes the importance of accepting yourself exactly where you are. Self-criticism rarely leads to growth. Instead, practice self-compassion. If you are unhappy with where you’re at, take it as a starting point; you are capable of change. Acknowledge that everyone struggles and that you can move in the direction that you choose.
Action Tip:
Start a self-compassion journal. Write down moments when you are self-critical, then counter those thoughts with affirmations of kindness and acceptance.
Step 5: Personal Accountability
Building self-worth also involves personal accountability. Make commitments to yourself and follow through. Start small—set achievable goals and gradually build trust in your ability to keep your promises to yourself. This fosters a sense of control and reduces self-sabotage.
Action Tip:
Create a simple habit tracker to monitor your commitments. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, to reinforce your progress.
Step 6: Self-Valuing
Self-valuing involves recognizing your worth and setting healthy boundaries. Learn to say yes to what nurtures your happiness and energy, and no to what drains you. This discernment allows you to create a life aligned with your desires.
Action Tip:
Identify areas in your life where you need to establish boundaries. Practice saying no to commitments that do not serve your well-being.
Step 7: Cultivating a Growth Mindset
Finally, embrace a growth mindset. Life will inevitably present challenges and setbacks, but how you respond is what matters. Acknowledge your feelings, but also reflect on what you can learn from each experience. Focus on what is within your control—your responses and choices.
Action Tip:
When faced with a setback, journal your thoughts and feelings. Then ask yourself: “What can I learn from this? How can I grow?” This reflective practice helps shift your perspective from defeat to opportunity.
Building self-worth is a continuous journey, but each step you take brings you closer to a healthier relationship with yourself. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect—both from yourself and others. Embrace this journey with compassion and curiosity. At Integrate Counselling, we love to help clients increase their self-worth.