As humans, we are all shaped by our childhood experiences, particularly by how we were treated in our families. The way we were valued, protected, expected to behave, and how our needs were met can influence us for a lifetime. Pia Mellody’s work helps us understand five core wounds that arise from childhood experiences and how these wounds impact our relationships and sense of self as adults. By working through these core issues in therapy, we can help you move toward emotional maturity and healthier relationships.
Here are the five core issues, and how therapy can support you in healing from them.
- How Were You Valued in the Family?
Your self-worth and how you view yourself often stem from your early family environment. Were you shown love and respect, or did you feel invisible or undervalued? The way your family treated you in terms of appreciation and support will affect how you feel about yourself today.
In therapy, we’ll help you learn to embrace your inherent worth and stop relying on external validation to define your value.
- How Were You Protected?
Protection isn’t just about physical safety; it’s about emotional safety too. Were you protected from harm, whether from family members, peers, or external situations? Inadequate protection, either too little or too much, can lead to issues with boundaries and a sense of vulnerability in relationships.
In therapy, we can help you learn to set healthy boundaries, both in protecting yourself and knowing when to allow vulnerability. By learning to trust yourself and others, you can stop living in fear and build stronger, safer relationships.
- How Were You Expected to Behave?
Every family has unspoken rules about how to behave. Were you expected to always be perfect, to meet certain expectations, or were you ignored or punished for expressing yourself? These early experiences shape how we interact with the world and how we expect others to behave.
Through therapy, we can explore how these expectations affected you and help you break free from rigid patterns. You’ll learn to embrace your authentic self and let go of old patterns that no longer serve you.
- How Were Your Needs and Wants Taken Care Of?
As children, our basic needs for love, attention, and care should be met by our caregivers. If these needs were ignored, neglected, or dismissed, it can lead to struggles with self-care, self-worth, and dependency in adulthood.
In therapy, we can help you understand the impact of neglect or over-caretaking and teach you how to properly meet your own needs. You’ll explore ways to become more self-sufficient while also learning to ask for help and be interdependent with others.
- How Were You Disciplined or Contained?
The way you were disciplined as a child – whether with love, consistency, or harshness – can impact your ability to regulate your emotions and behaviour. Were you contained in a way that helped you feel secure, or was there too much control or no control at all?
In therapy, we’ll help you address issues around control and containment. By learning moderation, you can achieve a balance that fosters healthy spontaneity while maintaining respect for yourself and others.
How Therapy Helps You Heal These Wounds
Healing from these core wounds involves recognizing how these issues show up in your adult life and working to shift old patterns. Therapy offers you the tools and insights to heal from childhood trauma, rebuild your sense of self-worth, and develop healthier relationships.
We would love to help you to:
- Build a healthier relationship with yourself and others
- Establish healthy boundaries
- Learn to take care of your emotional and physical needs
- Develop emotional maturity and self-regulation
- Experience a more balanced, fulfilling life
If you’re ready to work through these core wounds and heal from past trauma, contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation!
